


No Change

by Way_too_involved



Category: Voltron: Legendary Defender
Genre: Bisexual Lance (Voltron), Hurt Lance (Voltron), Hurt/Comfort, Insecure Lance (Voltron), Lance (Voltron) Angst, Lance (Voltron) is a Mess, M/M, Miscommunication, Pining Shiro (Voltron), Protective Shiro (Voltron), family mentioned only
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-04-13
Updated: 2018-06-10
Packaged: 2019-04-22 06:59:16
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 2
Words: 3,259
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/14303337
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Way_too_involved/pseuds/Way_too_involved
Summary: Why does this treatment follow Lance everywhere he goes?When things get too much, only one paladin seems to always take the hit.But hey, at least he's used to it, right?-----Shiro fucked up. And he knows it.





	1. Chapter 1

Growing up the youngest of 4 is not really a walk in the park as people tend to make it out to be. Especially when your parents are not really young, they tend of have already knocked themselves out with the whole raising-children-thing way before you were even born.  
So you are left with tired glances and the occasional hug and kiss on forehead.  
This has been Lance’s reality for as long as he can remember. It’s not that his parents don’t love him; they just have a lot on their minds with his sister’s wedding and his brothers’ universities. So he decided to stay on the side lines and let everyone live their lives while he watched and attempts to live his like everything is normal.  
It’s late at night that he starts to have the unwanted intrusive thoughts about how guilty must his parents feel since they just can’t raise another child at their age or how by the time comes they won’t t have enough money to put him through college which basically means they are throwing away his future just because he happens to be the last born.  
So to relieve them of all this, he worked himself to the bone trying to get a scholarship to Galaxy Garrison. And he did.  
If anyone was to ask him, he would say it was all for the look of pride on his parent’s face when he told them about getting the scholarship. But deep down, he realized it didn’t really fill the void and the emptiness that seemed to reside in him, giving his thoughts the medium to remind him how much he was a burden to his family and how relieved they must feel when the constant reminder, that was Lance, finally left.  
But things were going great at Garrison. Sure he didn’t get Fighter pilot, but he was finally his own person. He can do what he wants without the constant fear of saying something that might upset his parents or doing something that might embarrass his siblings. He was Lance McClain now. Just Lance. And for once that was enough.  
But then Voltron Happened and his whole dynamic shifted upon his head.  
Right from the beginning he could sense the return of the void inside him. Small gestures became a catalyst to his undoing, whether it’s an eye roll or a Shut up Lance. It all had the same effect of bringing back unwanted thoughts.  
And before he could help it, Lance McClain was not enough anymore.  
________________________________________  
It’s not that they were ignoring him.  
It’s just that they all had more important shit to do. Whether it being technological breakthroughs or battle strategizing or joining secret Galra alliances. He just didn’t have a purpose anymore. Hell, even being a paladin wasn’t that special anymore.  
Shiro is back in Black, Keith could come back to Red anytime and Allura had Blue. Lance could leave at any second and it wouldn’t really matter to… anyone.  
He started spending more time alone holed up in his room playing video games or in the training room, as its former resident went off to join the Blade.  
No one seemed to notice so he kept pretending. He may laugh too loudly or joke too frequently but it all seemed to be in character as no one noticed.  
Then Lotor joined the team and Lance didn’t really mind the guy. He seemed pretty genuine about his attempts and it saddened Lance that he had to used him as a tool to keep his persona going, he would act extra dramatically whenever Lotor would talk to Allura or plainly whenever he would just talk. But even that was becoming harder to keep up.  
________________________________________  
It was all in the span of a minute.  
They were deciding on what to do about one of the Galra ships that seemed to be following them for the past few days. It had put everyone on edge as they just couldn’t shake it.  
Pidge and Hunk were huddled together with Matt trying to find a way to hack into the ship’s mainframe from the castle while Lotor and the visiting Blade members discussed the possible identities of their pursuers.  
Lance was standing on the side-line watching everything in front of him unfold as he didn’t seem to fit into any of the group’s ‘categories’. It was like his household all over again.  
It crossed his mind the idea that they could hide on the alien planet he and Hunk landed on after they crashed from the corrupted wormhole back after their first fight against Zarkon.  
He walked up to Shiro, who was planning their course with Allura, and tapped his shoulders. Shiro glanced at Lance with the corner of his eye and said,  
“Not now, Lance. We are busy.”  
“Yeah I know, Shiro. I actually have an idea about where we could hide.”  
“Earth is not an option.”  
Lance’s words died in his mouth. Earth is not an option. Lance is not dumb to suggest going to earth to hide. Especially with that crazy Galra following them like a tail.  
“No, I was actually going to sugg-“  
“I SAID NOT NOW LANCE!” Shiro all but lashed out at Lance.  
Lance’s blood ran cold. Everyone on the bridge went silent and stared at Shiro.  
Lance remembered all the times his father would come home and yell at him just because he was tired and he still had to deal with a child after a long day’s work at his old age. So Lance was pretty used to this treatment. It’s just that he thought he had left this treatment back on earth with his parents and Iverson.  
He realized he will never truly be enough. Not to anyone.  
________________________________________  
Shiro stared at Lance. He couldn’t believe he actually yelled at one his paladins, let alone Lance.  
Shiro had noticed the toned down shift in Lance’s attitude and, contrary to everyone’s beliefs, he didn’t really like it. He preferred the outgoing Lance that changed the subject when things got too stressful or lightens the mood when a mission doesn’t go as planned. Shiro would rather that guy but sadly he had to admit that he didn’t prefer him in times of strategy. He needed planners and Lance was not a planner. At least that’s the impression he got.  
This Galra has been following them for a while and it was driving Shiro insane being in the dark about something like this.He and Allura set up camp on the bridge trying to find a safe haven for the castle.  
And truth be told, he hadn’t slept for a couple of days and was basically living off the coffee equivalent Hunk managed to conjure up from ingredients he got from the space mall. So he wasn’t really in the mood for someone to ruin their hard, but fruitless, work.  
Shiro had thought that he finally got the location perfected before Lance spoke up the first time and completely cut his train of thoughts.  
And before he knew it, he had yelled at Lance in front of everyone.  
Everyone.  
Galra and paladin alike.  
And it sickened Shiro. He would never wish this type of humiliation upon anyone.  
“Lance. I didn’t-“  
“WHAT IS YOUR PROBLEM!?” Lance yelled. Completely fuming. Shiro went pale, ice filling his veins. “ALL I WANTED TO SAY WAS A SUGGESTON! WHY DO YOU HAVE TO ACT ALL HIGH AND MIGHTY! I KNOW I DOn’t contribute much to the team but you really didn’t have to rub it in. Everyone shuts me up when I talk or rolls their eyes when I do something that isn’t fucking “smart” but I do this to keep all of you from eating each other. But who helps ME? I DIDN’T ASK TO BE FUCKING BORN! FIRST AT HOME AND THEN AT GARRISONAND NOW HERE?! A MILLON LIGHTYEARS FROM EARTH AND I AM STILL TREATED LIKE THIS.”  
Shiro knew Lance could probably go on but his throat clogged up from his sobbing. He wanted so desperately to reach Lance and pull him to the tightest hug he could muster but he seems to be frozen. He knew what Lance did to the team but he always assumed someone must’ve been helping Lance go through this.  
He looked around the room. Allura next to him. Kolivan and Lotor. Pidge next to Hunk and Matt.  
And he finally understood their mistake.  
They all branched up to smaller groups and that was NOT how a team should be.  
He went to look back at Lance but he was already gone.  
Shiro could bet his other arm on the fact that this was long overdue and they all deserved it.


	2. Chapter 2

 

Shiro hated himself for not listening to his consciousness. Lance was clearly not fine, and if this outburst proved anything, it’s that he had really messed up and couldn’t handle leading... Not in the ways that mattered anyways.

He was fully aware of Lance’s homesickness and his toned down usual upbeat self the past few days. It felt like the calm before the storm.

And they had just hit the storm head-on.

After Lance left, Shiro looked around the room at the remaining paladins and Galra and Alteans. They all stared back with what he was sure is a mirrored look of confusion and concern towards their resident Red Paladin.

He felt sick and light headed. Keith looked at him in shock. In all the time he knew Keith, he couldn’t remember ever doing this.

God the utter humiliation Lance must’ve felt.

“Shiro…”

Keith walked closer to him but he took a few steps back, he couldn’t talk to Keith about this.

He needed to see Lance and talk to  **him**  about everything from his life back on earth to how he was the only reason none of them have committed homicide on each other. He made them feel human, which might not seem like a big deal but to someone who spent the last year in captivity it was a luxury he couldn’t afford in the arena.

Lance was a breath of fresh air. Air that made you feel like you haven’t been breathing before you met him. He doesn’t think he can handle space without Lance and he was beating himself about that fact that he came to the realization and never said or acted on it.

He looked at his scarred hands and realized it was fear that Lance might never see him that way, because  **Why would he?**  Shiro is older and came with baggage of a year worth of trauma.

Reaching Lance’s room happened faster than he intended too. He wanted to think more of what he wanted to say and sort his thoughts out so he stood outside the room for what felt like a long time but was actually just 10 minutes.

He knocked several times before he let himself into the room. The lights were off and the AC was On at High. It was cold and dark which tightened Shiro’s heart at the contrast of the usual warm and bright Red Paladin.

His hand reached for the light dial and turned it to a slightly brighter setting to not scare Lance awake. He walked over to the bed and sat down. He gently reached out for Lance and noticed the wreck that was Lance’s face.

Snot and tears dried on his cheeks and blanket, which was wrapped so tightly around Lance, Shiro wouldn’t be surprised if it was to tear.

It took some time to wake the boy up but when he finally did, his blue red-rimmed eyes spotted grey ones and widened in surprise.

“Hey, Lance.” Shiro spoke as gentle as he could muster as if talking to a scared animal.

Lance just looked at the older paladin and said nothing. He could almost see the gears in Lance’s head working. After what happened in the control room, Shiro was probably the last person he both expected and wanted to see.

“I came to check up on you.” He smiled down at Lance. “I know nothing I could possibly say could make you feel instantaneously better but please believe me when I say I didn’t mean to yell at you.”

“I’m fine.” Lance’s hoarse voice contradicted his words.

“It’s okay to not be, Lance.”

“Don’t say that.” The sudden sharpness of tone shocked Shiro. “Don’t give me that… I don’t like when people say that. I heard it a lot whenever I told people about my past and it just makes me feel weak.”

“Okay… Then I won’t say it but I do want you to at least hear me out.”

The deflation of Lance was too visible that Shiro almost bailed but he didn’t think the team’s dynamic could go back to the way it was if he didn’t try to fix it and he knew that he would never forgive himself, Even if Lance does.

“I think I want to stay here alone for a while, Shiro, if you don’t mind.” Lance seemed to be focusing his attention onto a small thread that was coming off the blanket in his very hands. He didn’t meet Shiro’s eyes for a second after the first time.

“I know, but I want you to just give me a chance.” Shiro tugged at the blanket lightly. “Just listen, please.”

“Shiro please leave me alone.”

“I can’t.”

“Why?! Why do you suddenly care? Let me guess, you don’t want me to hold a grudge that might ruin the team’s dynamic? Or is it because you don’t want to feel guilty for not taking me seriously so now at least you can say your piece and go and let your conscious live on like nothing happened? Just tell me so I can stop fucking overthinking everything. I am done being everyone’s punching bag.” Lance sniffed as more tears fell down his face. He was curling in on himself with every word.

“Keith left and joined the freaking space equivalent of Men In Black and I have to take his place as a replacement, AGAIN. I take every eye roll, every _shut up Lance_ and Every. Single. Time you talked over me because you are entitled to your opinion while I am not entitled to mine.”

Lance stayed quiet for a few seconds before he finally looked him in the eyes and Shiro saw what can only be described as a broken man. He looked like he aged ten year in front of his eyes. Shiro didn’t think he deserve forgiveness and neither did anyone that had ever hurt this boy.

“I know you won’t believe anything I tell you because of what you said right now and back in the control room, but Lance you are literally what is keeping this team together. You take care of us and make sure we are okay and eating and sleeping that everyone forgot you are just as young as we are. We, yes we, are kids at war.

“I have no experience in leadership or strategy and neither does anyone here besides Coran. Pidge is fucking fifteen and will never have a normal childhood while Hunk has anxiety that is eating him alive and do you know why those two are still alive and happy? It’s  **not**  because of me, or Allura or Coran, it because  **you**. You damn bundle of Joy that literally light up the room just by walking in to it.

“We have lost friends and allies but we are still going strong. And I… God, I got so used to your energy that I forgot to check if there was someone doing to you what you are doing to us. No one knew where you came from, the shut ups and the eye rolling is nothing but pointless humour between friends and no one thought they would affect you like this, which was why you should’ve said something to someone. Those jokes you think we hate make me want to fight for another day and make me believe that there are still things worth laughing and smiling about. Lance you are  _priceless_. You are worth more than all of us combined and I will be damned if I ever… ever make you feel anything else ever again.”

By the end of this Shiro had both hands on either side of Lance’s face, forcing him to look him in the eye and to listen to every word he said. He wanted to be as clear as possible and for Lance to totally absorb every word of it.

He was panting and breathless and despite the high AC, he was sweating. This took so much energy from Shiro he didn’t think he could physically move for another ten minutes.

Lance’s eyes seemed to be hyper fixed on Shiro’s as they glistened with new unshed tears. He looked at Shiro in utter disbelief. No one moved and you could cut the silence with a knife, but Shiro was okay with this. He would take this Lance over the Lance that was curled up in on himself five minutes ago. At least now some colour was back in his cheeks.

“I am so sorry, Lance.” He whispered it this time.

Lance brought his hand up to the back of Shiro’s neck and settled it there. He seemed to be contemplating something and Shiro wanted to so desperately tell him that he could do whatever he wanted with Shiro. He widened his eyes in surprised as a strong tug pulled Shiro downwards and soft, slightly chapped lips pressed on his own. 

He tasted the salt of lance’s tears.

It didn’t feel like electricity, it felt like home. It was the warmth of Lance that held him there. One of Shiro’s hands went down to his chin while the other tangled itself in his brown sweaty hair. It was everything Shiro could’ve ever wanted for a first kiss.

Lance initiated it and pulled away from it too, keeping eye contact with Shiro all the way. He smiled a watery smile, one worth so much as it portrayed so much hidden pain and strength. He looked down at the hand held under his chin and said.

“I forgive you.”

If the black paladin was standing he would’ve buckled down with relief, those words wore like water after a drought. Yet He could help feeling like didn’t deserve this. He has been horrible. Lance was the epitome of determination and strength. He was more than anything Shiro could ever hope to be.

“Do you want to go back to the control room now?”

“I still don’t want to leave.” Lance declared.

“Oh.”

Shiro deflated, unfroze and moved to get off the bed to leave him alone when a hand reached out and hooked to the collar of Shiro’s shirt.

“Stay with me please… Allura can handle the planning for a few hours. I don’t want to be alone right now… not after that.”

Shiro’s cheeks burned as he readjusted himself to lie down next to Lance facing him. He had the perfect view of his eyes.

He knew what happened to Lance will not be fixed with just a few words. He needed to earn his forgiveness. Even if Lance said it, he didn’t feel like he earned it. They still had a long way and he will make sure in the future to give Lance his full attention and not make him regret ever giving him a chance at whatever this was.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I am kinda anxious about this chapter...

**Author's Note:**

> I might add a continuation to this... God knows.  
> Kudos and Comments mean so much you guys ❤  
> \----  
> I will be posting some of the prompts I have written.  
> If anyone would like to send any prompts, comment or send an ask to my tumblr  
> https://no-i-didnt-notice-im-short.tumblr.com/  
> I will try to reply to everything =)


End file.
